Unfortunate Souls of the Heater

by Matt McNish

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about

Recorded in Chicago 2018. The world is on fire.

credits

released May 15, 2018

Cover art by Treavor Doherty. Special thanks to Emily Diego, Nick Favela, and Rose Boyle for creative support.

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Matt McNish Chicago, Illinois

musician and comedian, trying to get by, etc. etc.

please email me!
i like to hear from people.

mattmcnish.com

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Track Name: the world is on fire
whenever i say,
"i'm good either way,"
do you know how i mean it?

i've spent so much time
imagining my life
but i just sat inside
throughout my childhood

even at five
crying all the time
as unmarked seasons
made their exits

now through the same eyes
this astonishing surprise
to watch you looking

wind in t-shirt
start of summer
walking

why imagine life?
there's no future
get out there's only now
this world's on fire

people say goodbye
still they're smiling
putting babies into backseats
through their crying

oh, i'm so happy i came
but i'm afraid i can't stay
the thing that causes me pain
looking out your window

is I just want one more day
where I don't have to explain
a thing that causes me pain

such a waste of time

here comes the night
clouds up in the sky
hold both the light
from the moon
and us humans

maybe some day
these street names will change
but for now
this place is leased in yours babe

make no mistake
i'm tired from the day we've had
but putting off our dinner for so long
has kept my senses sharp

what of my heart?

when just before we sleep
we smoke some weed
and i will not believe
but i'll see

the depth of my feelings
in the peeling of the paint
from off your ceiling

suddenly your eyes
just before mine
it's not just that i'm high
this world's on fire

oh, i'm so happy i came
but i'm afraid i can't stay
the thing that causes me pain
looking out your window

is I just want one more day
where I don't have to explain
a thing that causes me pain

don't want to waste our time

and you ask me if i'm cold
and want the window closed

no, no, no...
keep it open
keep it open
keep it open
keep it open
the world is on fire
the world is on fire...
Track Name: in open wounds
i never noticed
an ocean spray
connected
all those
days

put down my phone
these collected
moments
say nothing of
who i am

when it comes to me
when will you cum?
my body's
thrashing
in the sea

are you
threatened by
the fascinations
pulling on my sleeve?

i'm out hunting
for some food
in open wounds
that you can't eat

ooh, say my name
if that will help you
ooh, open my eyes
who will be my guru?

i want to know
who will love me
as in the way
i love the sound

a bass line playing
some filthy a-string
who wants to
love me now?

when it comes to me
when will you cum?
my body's
thrashing
in the sea

don't be
threatened by
the fascinations
pulling on my sleeve

i'm out hunting
for some food
in open wounds
that you can't eat

ooh, say my name
if that will help you
ooh, open my eyes
who will be my guru?

when it came to me in los angeles the year that ended everything
i went out for drinks inside a place i always used to go
somebody else was there who seemed so sweet

but i don't know
the things we did inside my sleep
the things he did inside my sleep
it happened while i was asleep

you said you wanted to know me
well this is something you should know
Track Name: the state as big as two
i wanted you
to love me
reach out your hand
and touch me

you wanted
to fuck me
i let you so that
i would see

what you'd open up in me
i'm learning to be like
the people on tv

i wish i was high
i wish i was high
the state is so dry
i want to feel light

in california
aching as
my phone connection
is breaking up
i guess i'm done
with saying what
i cannot take anymore

wish me luck because
i'm running out of love
and all of my trust
was gone before i knew
what it was

i wish i was high
i wish i was high
the state is so dry
i want to feel light

the state is as big as two
and it has not forgotten you
the state is as big as two
and it is overcoming you

i loved it when
you'd take my hand
and tell me stories
of where you'd been
those other lands
i never planned
to die here on
this burning sand...
Track Name: clockwise
Someone said,
“I’m not surprised,”
then came the laughter
right on time

from the first floor
with their drinks
from the kitchen
up through the sink
through to me

I’m washing my dishes
I’m starting to think…

It’s great that I can be somewhere
no one knows you
It’s great that I can be somewhere
and think about you
To think about you even where
no one knows you
But why’d I have to go so far
just to think about you?

No one knows me…

Feeling never
came out right
when you asked me
to describe

Open window
late at night
drunk on wine
and coffee now
a clementine

I’m caught in the moonlight
all hung up on time

The only hands on me tonight
are spinning clockwise
How far a thing can find itself
approaching sunrise
Gone further now with every night
the urges and the vines, those friends of mine
By sleight of hand my memory
congeals the pain of life and takes our time

Says, “If you can believe it,
there’s beauty in strife.
So do it over and over
and over.”

“Start it over and over
and over.
You’re getting older and older
and older.
Older and older and older…”
Track Name: two birds on one electric wire
two birds on one electric wire
cutting through an autumn sky
make note in mind
to write this down
but now i am
and i don't know how

i could explain
what it might mean
or why it seemed to be
so very noteworthy to me

why does everything i see
go and bring me to my knees?

i think i'm either gonna go to this party
or die right where i stand
i think i'm either gonna go to this party
or die right where i stand

another man taking my hand
although he can't understand me

closing my eyes on board the train
while everybody stays awake
their faces on a blue light screen
and yours is featured in my dreams

a memory, a memory, a memory...

as the train tracks twist and bend
i awake to where i've been

i think i'm either gonna go to this party
or die right where i stand
i think i'm either gonna go to this party
or die right where i stand

another man taking my hand
although he can't understand me

i know he can't
i know you can't
i know he can
i know you can

i think i'm either gonna...
Track Name: in one place
yesterday
told me to stay
in one place
spending my days

in one place
in one place

i could use
something to do
what would you
tell me to do?

do for you
in my room
where i stand now
craving food?

tired of acting this way
sick of conjuring pain

with one hand
i will water my plants
as the other
asks your plans

like a web
spun by the dead
DNA shaping
your head
and your hands
on my head
and my head
giving head

summer's entered my dreams
let it paint everything
wanna be like
the golden machine
by my window seat
growing leaves

golden green
golden green
everything
everything

"think your plant's almost dead"
isn't that what you said
after i gave you head?

"think your plant's almost dead"
DNA shaping your head
as I tasted the dead
Track Name: bartender's prayer
rip the pain out from the night
look up at the sky

moon is round
and you've found
that you've been holding on too tight

if letting go does not feel right
then let it go
and just feel time

let the wind make teary-eyed,
your whole world tonight

feel the clothes on your skin
and watch the veil begin to thin

see in this world so unkind
you can still find these times

isn't it nice
to let yourself trust that something kind
is with you tonight
even though no one's by your side?

all of your life
the moon has reflected more than light

the body is made to hold on tight
so letting go may take some time

when you're leaving work tonight,
will you look up at the sky?
Track Name: i don't feel at home with the guns
i've been gripping the handle
and i've been holding this thought:

"i don't feel at home in the garden,
and i don't feel at home with the guns."

as i'm listening to squawking
from these city birds
antique shoppers:

"i don't feel at home in the garden,
and i don't feel at home with the guns."

drop an anchor
and watch it blow away
find your center
and find that it's not safe

blame these days
blame the faces
framed by eye phone cases
make see-ree say:

"America, our Revolution's fake."
"America, our Revolution's fake,
but it's paid."

La da da, da da...

human nature is pleading for some
validation of feeling

"i don't feel at home in the garden,
and i don't feel at home with the guns."

though there's no visitations i feel
such a grave expectation

"i don't feel at home in the garden,
and i don't feel at home with the guns."

drop an anchor
and watch it blow away
find your center
and find that it's not safe

blame these days
take a plane
on your vacation days
take flight from your fate

America, our Revolution's fake
America, a Reckoning awaits
America, our Revolution's fake,
but it's paid...

Nataraja will dance and so must
evolution advance

but i don't feel at home in the garden,
and i don't feel at home with the guns.
Track Name: the path of least resistance
unfortunate souls of the heater
when will death bring its cold, calm relief?
oh, sing to me, souls of the heater,
if your screaming's intended for me.

oh, do tell me if someone should save you
i've a phone if you need me to call
the people whose job is to save us
how convenient for one and for all

// the path of least resistance
the path of least resistance //

but no you're not screaming at all
to scream is to live and you're more
you tell the waves how to crash on the shore
you told my glass how to break on the floor

you're behind it
it's just energy
and it's rising
through my metal pipes
and finding, finding,
finding you:

// the path of least resistance
the path of least resistance //

and that's all
but that's everything
and how funny
it still sounds
like a scream

makes me wonder,
unfortunate souls who are listening,
how my path of least resistance
sounds to you...
Track Name: waves
under a ceiling fan that sways
i have been lost for several days
victim to feelings i can't trace

but let's try
while I can't
shut my eyes

like waves it seems to me
like waves it seems to me
like waves
there comes a phase
where I can't sleep

i've got a job that i don't like
i've got a bill to pay online
the end of night in city skies

but it's fine
I'm fine
so why can't I?

like waves it seems to me
like waves it seems to me
like waves
another phase
where I can't sleep

in silver lake i rode a bike
and thought of jokes that you might like
i saw a wolf one of those nights

they bite
they bite
don't fight
don't fight

like waves it seems to me
like waves it seems to me
like waves you seem to show up
in my dreams

the tides are rising
and i can't shut my eyes
the tides are rising
and i can't shut my eyes
the tides are rising
and i can't shut my eyes
the tides are rising
and i can't shut my eyes...
Track Name: pretty boy
pretty boy
illinois
you plan to stay forever

pretty boy
hear my voice
i'll sing to you forever

everyday
stuck in place
why do we say forever?

no such thing
wedding rings
fall to the earth, not heaven...

why do we say forever?
it feels so good
it feels so good

maybe from now on
i won't think
maybe from now on
i won't think

but what if i?
or what if i?
or what if i?
or what if i?
...

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